What to wear for a first date: scent edition

The best perfume for a first date is one you already know you love, worn lightly enough that someone only notices it up close. Skip anything brand new, skip anything heavy, and put it where a hello hug would reach.

A first date is not the night to experiment. You want to feel settled, so choose a scent that makes you feel like yourself.

Keep the rest of your look simple too. A scent works best when you are not competing with a hairspray, a scented laundry spray and a perfume at once.

It is also worth wearing the scent once before the date, to a coffee or a walk, so you know how it feels in your own company.

Nerves are normal, and a familiar scent is a small comfort. It is something steady that goes with you into a room where everything else is new.

What should you look for in perfume for a first date?

Three things matter more than the scent itself.

First, familiarity. Wear something you have worn before. You will know how it behaves on your skin and how it smells at hour four, when most dates are in full swing.

Second, softness. Dinner tables are small, and so is the distance between you. A scent that fills the room is too much. A scent that appears when someone leans in is just right.

Third, comfort. If a note bothers you after two hours, you will be thinking about it all night. Choose the scent you forget about.

Which scents suit a first date?

Here are three from the obsessed range, each for a different mood.

• Velvet Lavender, for calm confidence. Lavender, orange blossom and vanilla make a soft floral that works from late afternoon into evening.
• Roman Vanilla, for something warm. Bergamot and jasmine give it a bright top, and bourbon vanilla settles in underneath. Good on cold evenings.
• Paris Blush, for something fresh. Orange, rose and soft patchouli, bright and easy for a daytime coffee or a lunch date.

If the date is a long dinner, Crimson Amber is warm and sweet, with saffron, jasmine and amberwood. It is one of the two louder scents, so use a smaller amount than usual.

Where should you put it, and how much?

Use one scoop of butter on damp skin after your shower, on the neck, collarbone, chest and wrists. These are the places closest to a hug, and warm skin lets a scent open gently.

Think about timing too. Apply after your shower, then give it a good half hour to settle into your skin before you leave. A scent that has settled smells rounder and softer than one that is fresh.

Do not add a perfume spray over a strong butter. If you want to layer, the rule I follow is simple: a butter as the base and one light spray in the same family. More than that and you are announcing yourself from across the street. If you want the full method, see how to layer body butter and perfume.

Obsessed is made for close moments. It is a pheromone-infused body butter, made to help you attract the people you want close, and the hug at the door is where it does its work. I will not promise a result, only that it is designed for that moment of being near.

What mistakes should you avoid?

• Trying a new scent. Test it on a quiet weekend first.
• Applying it right before you leave. Put it on after your shower so it settles.
• Reapplying in the bathroom at the restaurant. Your nose adjusts to your own scent, so you will probably add too much.
• Wearing the heaviest thing in your drawer. A date is about being near, not about being smelled from a distance.

For an evening that continues late, look at evening perfume that is warm, deep and close to the skin.

How do you find the scent that feels like you?

By wearing a few and listening to your own reaction. Our guide to how to find your signature scent lays out the steps, and the Discovery Set lets you try all six on your skin before you pick.

Quick answers

What perfume should I wear on a first date?

One you already know and love, kept soft and applied lightly to the neck, collarbone and wrists.

How much perfume is right for a first date?

Less than usual. You want someone to notice it when they are close, not when you walk in.

Should I try a new scent on a first date?

No. Wear something familiar so you know how it behaves on your skin.

Is a body butter a good option for a date?

Yes. It sits close to the skin and gives a softer scent than a spray, which suits a close setting.

If you would like a scent built for close moments, start with Velvet Lavender or Roman Vanilla.